READ THIS if you need perspective...
I am not writing this to preach or proclaim that since coming to realise the things that I will discuss my life has been forever changed. I am simply writing this as an account of my own perspective changing in hopes it will continue to evolve and inspire new ones.
Expectation and perfectionism...
These are the two things that challenge me and rear their head in the greatest and most challenging of times. When I have no time and too much of it. I am currently on summer break and had all these optimistic goals of what I wanted to achieve. I wanted to be the slimmest and fittest I'd ever been, join a pottery group and spend every day at the beach. When a series of life events meant these were put on the back burner when I returned to them I was met with resistance and perfectionism. I continued to beat myself up about how I hadn't been productive everyday, gone to yoga everyday and read all the books I wanted to. Let alone eat a balanced diet.
Perspective..
I then was met with a harsh reality. After my summer holiday I will return for a unexpected serious opperation leaving me in hospital for a couple of days and in recovery for weeks. Suddenly when I was told this news NONE of those expectations to have a certain body and level of fitness mattered. My concern, my focus was now on something much greater... how the hell am I going to heal from this in the best way possiable? After fear and shock had popped in to greet me I was met withh immense grattitude that I was in a position to have the surgery and a better quality of life but also that my body was fit and healthy enough to go through with it.There was not one secound I thought "because I am a size 14 I'm not healthy enough or strong enough to survive this". In all honesty I thought "thank f*ck I have looked after my body all these years".
This is not to say I now have overhwelming love and accpetance for body and walk around like a badass with a big bum but it has given me a lesson that health is worth so much more than the way it makes you look and when shit hits the fan its all that really matters.
Expectation and perfectionism...
These are the two things that challenge me and rear their head in the greatest and most challenging of times. When I have no time and too much of it. I am currently on summer break and had all these optimistic goals of what I wanted to achieve. I wanted to be the slimmest and fittest I'd ever been, join a pottery group and spend every day at the beach. When a series of life events meant these were put on the back burner when I returned to them I was met with resistance and perfectionism. I continued to beat myself up about how I hadn't been productive everyday, gone to yoga everyday and read all the books I wanted to. Let alone eat a balanced diet.
Perspective..
I then was met with a harsh reality. After my summer holiday I will return for a unexpected serious opperation leaving me in hospital for a couple of days and in recovery for weeks. Suddenly when I was told this news NONE of those expectations to have a certain body and level of fitness mattered. My concern, my focus was now on something much greater... how the hell am I going to heal from this in the best way possiable? After fear and shock had popped in to greet me I was met withh immense grattitude that I was in a position to have the surgery and a better quality of life but also that my body was fit and healthy enough to go through with it.There was not one secound I thought "because I am a size 14 I'm not healthy enough or strong enough to survive this". In all honesty I thought "thank f*ck I have looked after my body all these years".
This is not to say I now have overhwelming love and accpetance for body and walk around like a badass with a big bum but it has given me a lesson that health is worth so much more than the way it makes you look and when shit hits the fan its all that really matters.
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